I sit and peruse the internet. I read blogs of people who craft beautiful things. Things I think I could make some day.
I read blogs of people who organize, and in their spare time take beautiful pictures.
I read blogs of people who are professional photographers hoping to glean just a little insight into taking pictures of my own.
I read blogs of people who seem to have time to do everything.
It makes me feel like a failure. I’m a failure because most days I don’t even shower until 2:30pm. A failure because I am not sewing more and baking more and taking better pictures. A failure because I don’t teach my kids enough; my son doesn’t read entire books by himself; my daughter is not dancing her way through life; my baby doesn’t even have any teeth.
Failure.
It makes me feel like I should be doing more with my time. That I should be planning exquisite dinners and baking delicious cookies for my growing family; that I should be crocheting, sewing, dancing, organizing, and spending quality time with each of my kids. It makes me feel like the things I am doing are just not enough.
I feel like I will never measure up to these other women who do all of these amazing things. And at times it makes me feel like I am a terrible wife and mother.
Then, I catch a glimpse of my cute kids telling their dad all of the things they did that day, and it makes the dishes in my sink, the piles of laundry on my bed, and the toys on the floor disappear. Because, you know what I did that day: I built a fort, I did puzzles, I snuggled and I gave kisses to owies.
Maybe I’m not as much of a failure as I thought…
Oh my gosh! Where to even start? You are doing a great job with your kids, showers are over rated. People only blog about the good stuff, they don't (usually) show you the 12 loads of laundry in the corner needed to be folded. What your kids remember is all the memories you are making with them, and that they were special enough that you spent your days with them. Take advantage of the time you have before it is spent driving between dance lessons, and all the other activities your kids will be involved with. You all sit down to a home cooked meal almost every night as a FAMILY! Trust me.. you are doing things more right than you can see right now. Don't even get me started about how your baby has no teeth! !LOL!
ReplyDeleteI read this earlier and went to comment, but the window closed before I could! dang it!
ReplyDeleteI can SO relate! I often feel this very way...I have come to realize that it's not about what everyone else does or doesn't do, because clearly some people will be WAAAAAY more than I ever will in many areas. It's about you being the best YOU. Blogging has opened up an entire new can of worms when it comes to comparing--I do it ALL the time, and it bugs me! :) But once you wipe away all the pretty stuff and amazing ideas, we are all just people who want to be our best--some people just can step forward in a different way--and at the same time, they are probably feeling much the same way you are.
Isn't it funny how that works?
I think you're an incredible mom--from what I've seen and read. And you being the best you for yourself and your kids will make you an IDOL in their eyes! :)
You have put into very creative words the thoughts and feelings of almost every mother! No woman can possibly do everything that the "perfect mom" can do! I would just say to any and all moms--don't compare yourself to anyone but yourself, and LOVE your children.
ReplyDeleteI love reading your posts. They are stimulating and enlightening. Keep up the good work!