my hands have been busy!

Once again, a post with no pictures. I thought if I tried a different way of uploading pictures it would work, but i was wrong. I have a few other options up my sleeve, but for now...no pictures.

For the last couple of months, I have been crocheting. I have been crocheting Christmas stockings, of which I have only finished 2, I have crocheted 4 hats and 11 ear warmers. I crocheted so many things for so long that my hands hurt one night. Now, I have a few more hats/ear warmers to make.

I made eat warmers for each of my Young Women. I taught the lesson yesterday and after I was done and the prayer was said, I set all of the ear warmers out on the table.

I got reactions I didn't quite think I would get.

"Wow! These things are so cute!"

"Oooh, I want this one!"

"Thanks so much for making these, they're so cute!"

I was excited to hear their reactions, kind of a little sceptical that they would even wear them once. Last night was a fireside, the time when the youth get together to hear a special message. We were outside in the cold by a fire. As the girls showed up, three different ones were wearing their ear warmers.

I was flattered. I am flattered.

Even one of their parents said how nice it was for me to make those for all of the girls. My response was, "I'm just glad they're wearing them even once."

He replied, "oh, she'll wear her's all the time. It's perfect for a chilly night like tonight."

So I guess all of the hand cramping was worth it. I still have several more to make and at least one more stocking to make. I have three kids who need stockings for Santa to put gifts into on Christmas morning.

My to-do list never seems to end.

M.I.A

I know I have been MIA, but it's not for a lack of trying to blog.

First, I think I have broken the monitor to my computer. I can't turn the power on anymore. It no longer makes the little clicking noise when you push the power button.

Second, Oswald got my DSLR working, so I have been taking pictures on that. Well, his laptop will not download the CD-ROM I have that has the software on it. annoying.

Third, when I try to upload pictures from this silly laptop, there is always some sort of error.

Stupid excuses, I know, but they're the truth nonetheless.

We have been super busy around here lately. We made cookies to take to our kids Primary teachers and our Home teacher. It was fun to see their happy faces when they got to give the cookies to these people who do so much for us every day.

Last week, I got to help out at m Buddy's school. He got to make a Christmas ornament, gingerbread houses, and decorate a cookie. We had so much fun. I even have some pictures to prove it. But see excuse number 3 and you'll see why there are no pictures.

Life is crazy and full of excitement. Just two more days and my Buddy will be home from school for two weeks. I am super excited and a little nervous to have him home all day. My big kids tend to fight when they're home together for a long time. Their fighting is not normal, so it's hard for me to see them being mean to each other. It's hard to see them playing so sweetly and nicely together and then the next minute they're fighting each other, yelling and screaming.

But, that's not what is reallying eating away at me.

I can't seem to get into the holiday spirit. We have had the Christmas tree up for weeks. I have been listening to Christmas music for just as long. I have finished the Christmas shopping and wrapped all of the gifts, and still no holiday cheer from me. I've had my share of egg nog and still nothing. I don't know what to do. My hands ache from all of the Christmas presents I have made. It's amazing all of the stuff I have done and still have no Christmas spirit.

It's time to open the scriptures and remember the real meaning of Christmas. I'm going to push all of the Scrooge feelings out of my heart and try to enjoy the next 11 days.

I love seeing the magic in my kids eyes when they think about their gifts. I love to see their eyes sparkle when they look at lights. I love how my Little Man loves to play with our Little People Nativity. I need to rid myself of whatever is eating away at myself and not allowing me to feel the Christmas Spirit.


What do you do to help you feel the Christmas spirit? Any suggestions to help me change my attitude??

The big ultrasound!

Yesterday morning, we piled into the car to head to the OBGYN. It was the day of our big ultrasound!

We took my Princess and Little Man with us. I think it's fun for the other kids to see what they're new baby will be!

We didn't wait very long (shocking for this office) and went straight back to the ultrasound office.

Question Girl was in full force that morning and wanted to know if she was going to have a little sister or another little brother.

The tech said, "Are we finding out today?"

And before I could answer, my Princess says, "YES!"

The tech went to town looking between the cutest little ultrasound legs I have ever seen...and guess what...there was nothing to see!!

That's right, my Princess is getting a little sister!  She jumped up and down when the tech said, "you're getting what you want, a little sister!"

I had tears in my eye. Oswald is quite the pro at the ultrasounds now, he said he knew it was a girl as soon as the tech started looking. I was pretty sure I did, too, but was not willing to say anything in case something was hiding.

But there was nothing hiding and we're so excited to bring another little girl to our home. My Princess is so excited that everything is even now. 2 girls and 2 boys.

Everything else went smashing with the ultrasound. She's healthy and moves a whole bunch. We were in the ultrasound for an hour because she wouldn't move her hand away from her face for the tech to look at her mouth and nose.

I'm excited to get out all of the cute little girl clothes that my Princess wore that I just could never part with. I am excited for more hair bows and pink! I wanted a little girl, and it's kind of nice to get what you want!

A little history...(unless that's borning?)

My buddy is in Kindergarten this year and since November got here, he has been learning all about the Pilgrims and the Native Americans.

A couple of interesting facts/historical points...

 the Mayflower

I had a great-great-great x 9 grandpa who was on the Mayflower. His name was Edward Fuller, his brother (also on board) was Samuel, he had a wife, Ann, and a son Samuel who also made the journey to the new land.

My Grandmother recently wrote and published an autobiography of her mother's life history. Included in this history is a little snippet about Edward.

     "The heritage she (my great-great grandmother) brings from the Fuller family traces back many generations. This includes Edward Fuller who came to America on the Mayflower in 1620 and was a signer of the Mayflower Compact. He and his wife, Ann, dies the first winter they were there. His son, Samuel, was sent to live with Edward's brother, Samuel, who was a doctor....
     "....The extremely difficult conditions for the passengers and the length of time for the crossing made the journey almost more horrendous than we can even imagine today! As a descendant of one of these very brave men, I deeply appreciate their determination to succeed in reaching the New World to being to establish the many freedoms we enjoy today. Edward's courage in pursuing his dream led to the eventual Restoration of the Gospel to the earth for this, the find dispensation of time. I am so thankful for my Fuller heritage."

I think it's interesting and a little exciting that I have an ancestor who went against everything he had known to stand up for what he believed. Even though he died that first winter, he was still very influential in bring very important changes to the world. Changes that have helped shape who I am today and how I live my life.

I have ancestors who were Mormon Pioneers and I am equally grateful for them, but this being the time of year when we think about the Pilgrims, I thought I should jot down this little tidbit about my Fuller ancestors. What a legacy they leave and what huge shoes we all have to fill!

Do you have any family who have carved the way for you to be in America or who have helped make it possible for you to worship how you choose? I'd love to hear stories!

So Tired...

(My little man fell asleep like this one evening after dinner, guess he was completely pooped!)

exhausted, actually!

I have good and bad days. Yesterday I woke up feeling like a new woman. I cleaned my house, went grocery shopping, read a good book and took a 2 hour nap.

Then last night was hard to fall asleep. It was one of those nights when I couldn't get things out of my head. I just kept re-playing all of my worries over and over in my head.

Stupid worries, really. But still worries that kept me up way past my bedtime.

Then today was a rough morning. I pushed snooze on the alarm. I pulled myself out of bed. Once I ate some food, I felt a little better, but let's be honest, I would have much rather climbed back into bed and slept the morning away.

On days like this, a nap is a requirement. But lunch was late being fixed, then it was time to shower and get my buddy from the bus, and then we went to the dentist (yes, the dentist days before Halloween!) So there was no nap for me.

Now it's 5:30pm and we're cooking our chili for the Trunk or Treat at the church. I'm exhausted and who knows how I'll feel a hour from now when it's time for the party to start. I can hardly keep my eyes open and when I close them, they burn, that's how tired I am.

I still have the final touches on the kids costumes to figure out, procrastinate much, I think not!

This stupid thyroid of mine is kicking my trash and I can't wait for the medicine to help me feel better. I know it's a gradual thing, but I don't do gradual very well. I am more of an instant gratification person, that's why I worked in TV and also why I don't sew quilts! It's just to hard for me to wait for something to happen. So when I'm faced with a trial that might take a while to solve...it's really hard on me. But I digress.

It seems that the medicine is helping me out in the morning and maybe in the next week it will help me in the afternoon and the week after that help me in the evening? We can keep our fingers crossed, right?

I know life is rough on all of us and my worries are minuscule to the worries I could have...but I just had to get this off my chest. Venting is over. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Meet Question Girl...

 (don't you wish the weather would still allow us to do this right now? I sure do!)

I'm sure most of you know who WorldGirl is...she is a little girl who knows the meanings of all kinds of big words...like flabbergasted or exhausted.

I don't live with WordGirl, but I live with Question Girl. My Princess has hit the lovely age of 4 and has thereby graduated to asking all kinds of questions. All.The.Time! (no this is not an exaggeration)

Just a small example of what one conversation with me and My Princess might be like in the course of one day,

"Mom, why are you making that cake?"

"Because it's someones birthday."

"Who's birthday is it?"

"It's Daddy's birthday"

"Oh, how old is Daddy?

"He's 30."

"Mommy, why are you putting those eggs in there?"

"Mommy, what's that thing called?"

"Mommy, can I help you."

"I am almost done, sweet girl, maybe you can help me in a minute."

"Mom, why are you putting that stuff in there?" (the batter in the cake tin)

"It has to go in there to bake."

"Oh, how long will it take to bake?"

"35 minutes"

"Oh, when it's done can I help you frost it?"

and the questions go on and on...all day long.

So I have my very own super hero in my house...and if you ever think that being a mom is a mindless job/career/profession, come to my house and see how taxing being a mom can really be!

Crinkle Face

My little man makes this most awesome face. It encompasses so many emotions for this little guy! He crinkles his face to show happiness, excitement, love and also extreme distress.

It's amazing how this little expression can mean so many things to such a small little guy. Most of the time, we laugh when we see this little crinkle face. My older kids have taking to calling him, "Mr. Crinkle Face." It's hilarious to see him do it.

Today, I would like to have my own little crinkle face. I really wanted to take a nap today. After 4-5 days of waking up early, I am so ready for a little siesta (nap). I was under my covers with the TV babysitting my Princess, when Mr. Crinkle Face starts screaming from his crib.

He's trying to get rid of one of his naps and instead of two naps is only taking one 3-4 hour nap in the middle of the day. But today, he only slumbered for 2 hours. Not long enough for me to finish reading my book and get a little shut-eye at the same time.

So here I am blogging instead of napping. Just imagine me sitting at the computer with my own little crinkle face. Because, let's be honest, that's how I feel on the inside. Crinkled.

-----------------------

What does your Friday night hold for you?

--Oswald and I are playing volleyball with some of the people from our church. I'm pretty excited about it! I played volleyball in Junior High and High School. I was the setter. There's nothing sweeter than having an awesome set end in an even awesomer (that really is a word now!) spike! Gives me goosebumps just thinking about it!

Secrets...how do you feel about them?

--I think that secrets have their place, like for Birthday's and Christmas. Some times secrets can cause rifts in friendships and even worse in marriage. I think that some times you just have to wait for the right time to tell your secret. Cuz not every secret is a bad secret. Just my opinion.

It's starting to feel real!

The boxes have arrived and our stuff is slowly being put inside each one. We're not moving far, so we probably won't need a whole bunch of boxes. But each time we move, we've moved a lot in the last 8 years, I get a little sentimental.

This time is a little different. I can't wait to get out of this little apartment. I can't wait to live in a house again. I can't wait for the fenced backyard. I can't wait to have neighbors I am even slightly interested in getting to know. I can't wait to be able to go for a walk in my neighborhood rather then in the neighborhood next to mine.

I know part of my disdain for this apartment is my own fault. I never hung up any pictures. I never fully unpacked everything. I never wanted this place to be my home and despite trying my hardest, this place has become home. It's crazy to believe that I would call this place home, but it has been. This is where my Little Man learned to crawl, where he said mama for the first time, where he took his first 3 steps. This is where my Buddy started school and lost his first two teeth. This is where my Princess learned to write her name and where she developed a love of cooking.

This place may not be my favorite place on the planet, but it does hold some pretty strong memories.

But I'm excited for this next adventure. I'm ready for a change. I'm ready to have a space big enough to invited people over. I'm ready to live in a place I'm not embarrassed of.

I'm ready to change my attitude. That's what I really need to do. Change. My. Attitude.

So as the boxes get packed and I hope and pray that we don't have to pay for any "damages" to this silly apartment, I will pack all of the memories from this place deep into the recesses of my brain just waiting to be revived years from now when I decide to get all sentimental.

------------

How many places have you lived?

--As a kid I lived in two different places, one city, one town. As an adult I have lived in 4 different states.

What's on tap for the weekend?

--I'm not sure what we're doing. Probably going to get ready for my Princesses 4th Birthday! Birthday's are a big deal around here!

Ode to Breakfast!

Last night my cleaning people came through my apartment like a whirlwind. It was amazing! They were scheduled for an hour, but they finished early. They cleaned the kids room, the kitchen, the living room, and even started the laundry. Maybe you've heard of my cleaning people? Their names are Oswald, my Buddy, and my Princess. We knocked out so much even before the timer went off that we played 10 frames of wii bowling.

I am not so good at wii bowling. No matter what I do, I can't get more than one strike every 10 frames. My kids even do better than I do. Oswald gets super frustrated because I don't like to be told what to do and when it comes to bowling and he's getting 200+ points every game, I am pretty much over it. I don't want him to tell me how to do it because it makes me feel like I stink worse than I do. It's a personality flaw. I just have to deal with it.

Speaking of personality flaws...I love to cook. Maybe that's not a personality flaw, but somehow I needed to transition into what I wanted to write about today.

We had a breakfast party this morning. We're down to mere days until school starts, and we want to party as much as we can before we start waking up early.

For breakfast I made some breakfast cake. My mom used to make this for us when we were kids living at home. I have to admit, it did not turn out as good as it has in the past, but it was still yummy and the kids all enjoyed themselves.

If you wanna try this yourself here's the recipe:

Breakfast Cake
3 eggs
1 1/2 c. milk
3/4 c. oil
4 1/2 c. flour
1 1/2 c. sugar
4 1/2 t. baking powder
1/2 t. salt

mix wet together
add dry
your mixture will be thick and a little lumpy. (see picture below)

Pour into 9x13 baking sheet.
melt one cube (or stick) of butter pour over top
add handful's of brown sugar on top and sprinkle cinnamon over that (be very generous)

bake 375-400 until cake passes "toothpick test"

Grab a plate, glass of milk or OJ, and enjoy!!

What is your favorite breakfast?

--mine is French Toast. I can guarantee that I will get it twice a year, no questions asked. I get it for Mother's Day and my Birthday!

How do you keep your house cool in the summer when the oven is on?

--I completely FAILED at this today...my house got so hot I started sweating. I'm sorry to my friend and her kids for the overheating we all felt!!

What are you making for dinner tonight?

--I am debating making some chicken salads or some pasta. Can't quite decide. Don't know why picking the meals is so hard for me!

School Schedule

Oswald on the water slide during our July trip to Florida

There is just something about being foot loose and fancy free during the summer. Not having anywhere to go at a specific time, not having anything to do at a specific time. It's lovely. But I guess the last 5 years of my life have been like this. Ever since my Buddy was 6 months old, I have been able to be home with him and do our own thing. 

Now we're down to less than 6 days until he heads to kindergarten. Let me tell you how prepared we are.

I have no idea where he will be going to school.

I have no school supplies.

We have not even started a school schedule. 

Is this bad? Or course! But not bad for him, bad for me!!

I ♥ sleeping in! It is one of my most favorite things to do in the world. But I don't always get the opportunity to sleep in as late as I would like. Often I am awoken up way to early. Usually one kid or another is in my bed with some kind of toy or another.

As for my buddy, I am certain he will do just fine waking up a little earlier and going to bed an hour earlier. Summer just kind of got us out of our normal routine. It's going to be interesting to see what happens and how this changes his little personality. 

I am very intrigued at how he will respond to being away from his mom all day. He's a tender-hearted little kid. He loves being with his mom and siblings. He loves being with us and doing fun things with us. It will be interesting to see his face when he leaves for the first time and when he climbs back into the truck after a long day. 

I wonder if he'll talk more than my Princess? (that's hard to do!)

When do your kids go back to school? Have you already started them on a school schedule?

--We start August 1st. We start so early because we get lots of week long breaks. We get a week off in September, the entire week of Thanksgiving, two weeks at Christmas, a week in February, Spring Break and then we're doing in May! I guess those breaks make up for starting so early.

What do you feed your kids for breakfast during the school year?

--we are real cereal eaters, but I am totally afraid that cereal will not be enough for my Buddy. But I don't necessarily want to wake up any earlier to make something. But I guess I just might need an Attitude Adjustment!

Tell me memory from when you were in school!

--I remember being in kindergarten. Being in Ms. Quinn's class and riding the bus home with my big brother. One day, I was playing outside for recess in the 6th grade and a big black bug flew in the sleeve of my shirt. I calmly held my shirt away from my body, walked over to my teacher to ask to go inside. I walked into the girls bathroom, hit that bee (or giant yellow jacket, but it was black) out of my shirt and hit the door running!! Scared the crap out of me!!

Random Thought...

I've seen this picture several times the last few days. Each time I scroll through my pictures to find the one I want, I see this one.

I love my hair in this picture. It's short. It's really short. And I remember when I took this picture, I thought to myself, "I would like my hair to be a little shorter." What? That's some pretty short hair.

When I was at girls camp, I sat in meetings and watched these teenage girls braid each other's long locks. I was a little envious of how long their hair is. But then I remember what I nick-named myself when I have long hair and no bangs: slick-back girl. Not a pretty picture.

My hair is getting there again. It's sad how fast my hair grows. Maybe it's just sad at the lack of desire I have to go get it cut again. I constantly contemplate growing my hair out. I have really straight, really thick hair. It would probably be pretty long by Christmas if I let it keep growing and just got trims every so often.

I don't know if I could handle it. I would probably have to get some swoopy bangs or something to go with it because I have a pretty high forehead. Long, straight hair just leads me to think back on the 70's and I am not down with that.

So I guess it's time to take the plunge...cut it or grow it out...that is the question.

How short is too short and when you're over 30, how long is to long?

--I would never shave my head bald...probably have to many divots or bumps to pull that one off. As for to long, I just don't want to look like I'm trying to be something I'm not.

What's your favorite feature?

--I like my feet. I am not a feet person, but my feet are nice. I have pretty toes and pretty toe nails that I keep nicely groomed. And if I ever have a problem with my feet, Oswald will just fix that for me! He's handy like that.

What did you want to be when you grew up?

--I wanted to be a doctor for the longest time. Then I realized how much math goes into the schooling, and I scratched that idea. Then I wanted to be the next Katie Couric, and Meridith Viera stole that from underneath me. Squashed my dreams, flat!

Frustrated...

 

I could sure use one of these right now...

I posted yesterday about how we're on the hunt for a house. No, we're not buying because no, we have not sold our house in NC yet. We do have it rented, however, so that's a huge blessing.

But we were looking forward to being able to go see another house today, one that we have already look at once. Our Realtor called today to tell us that the house has already been leased. We have heard, "I'm sorry, but that house is already leased" more times than I want to count. And that's just today.

I'm really starting to feel the crunch. I want to get my Buddy enrolled in a school that he will enjoy, one that he will be able to attend the entire year. Not one where he will go for the next month until our lease at our apartment runs out and we finally find a house to rent. I want him at his school from day one. No switching schools, unless absolutely necessary.

Yes, I know it's only kindergarten...but IT'S KINDERGARTEN!! Kindergarten is fun! Kindergarten is where you make lots of friends. Friends that you have in your classes all the way through school. It's where you learn to sit in a class, to raise your hand, to let others have a turn. It's where you learn to read, perfect your writing, start learning math. Kindergarten is important. And I want my Buddy there. It's that important to me.

So I'm frustrated because our "must have" list is pretty long and the selection in our budget is small and those that do exist are snapped up in a flash! It's hard and it's no fun at all!

It's hard to get my hopes up each time I find a new house to see, just to walk in and the rooms are the size of a postage stamp or the backyard looks like a jungle that leads to a ravine that leads to the forest.

I know there's a good house out there for us, but it's hard to see the silver lining in all of this. Maybe he's not supposed to go to the school I have been thinking about. Maybe he's supposed to go somewhere else all together? Who knows. What I do know is looking for a house is no fun.

What is your least favorite thing in the world to do?

--I loathe ironing men's shirts. I used to iron my dad's shirts as a kid. He had long-sleeved dress shirts he wore to work construction. I ironed long-sleeves and short-sleeves. It was hard work. I did get paid, though. 25 cents for a short-sleeved shirt and 50 cents for long-sleeved shirts...at the end of the day, I was rolling in dough...a whole $5!

Do you have a yummy cookie recipe?

--I have the worlds best chocolate chip oatmeal cookie recipe. Literally I could eat the entire batch of cookies in one sitting. Gross, I know, but they're that good!

Who is your favorite actor/actress?

--I love love love Julia Roberts. I have seen every movie she's ever made, unless they're rated R and even some of those I've seen. (I don't watch rated R movies anymore) I also love Meg Ryan...she's so cute and hilarious!

House Hunters--Georgia Style

Let it be said that looking for a house is hard work. We have some pretty specific criteria we need to meet.

1. In our price range. I have no desire to be house poor. I want to be able to buy things, take my kids to the doctor, decorate the house cute (since I never did that with the apartment) and just be able to have a little extra cash.

2. In our same ward. Usually I don't mind changing wards, but for some reason I want to stay in this ward. I feel like I have finally made some good friends and I also feel like I have my bearing about myself in this ward.

3. I want my Buddy to get a good education. There are lots of houses that are zoned for not-so-good schools and I don't want that. I want my son to get a good quality education and to love being in school.

4. We need at least 4 bedrooms. We could do a 3 bedroom if it had a loft or an office. Oswald works from home 70% of the time and he needs a space where he can be and not bother the entire family...or have the family bother him.

5. I want a fenced backyard. I want my kids to be able to go outside and play whenever they want or whenever I want. I don't want to have to watch them every second of the day and having a fenced backyard would be perfect.

Today a good friend and I drove around for about 3 hours looking at houses. We found a few. In the process, I got car sick, my Little Man got cranky, my Princess began to whine, and the other kids in the car got a little restless.

Now, we're about to get in the truck and drive again. This time with a Realtor who will be able to open doors for us. Hopefully we'll be able to find something...because there's less than two weeks until school starts!! Ack!

What are some things you won't give up when looking for a house?

--you saw my list...but my most important criteria is the # of bedrooms.

How long can you stand to listen to crying babies before you pull your hair out?

--my limit is 3 hours...I'm almost bald now! :)

What's your favorite food to eat when you're stressed out????

--I love chocolate! Any kind, doesn't really matter. Something about it makes me feel all nice inside. Dr. Pepper used to have the same effect, but when it's not caffeinated, it doesn't work as well.

You may not know...

You may not know that I like having pictures taken of my backside...haha NOT!

10 things you may not know about me:

10. I grew up in a small town in Arizona. There were only 100 kids in my graduating class and my Senior year, I was Student Body Vice President. I was in charge of all the pep assemblies and I loved it!!

9. My pinky is double jointed. I used to tease my sister and tell her that if she touched it...she would turn our crippled like my finger! (I'm mean, I know!)

8. I graduated college in 3 years. The summer of my Freshman year, my dad sat me down and told me, "Bear, you better do as much college as fast as you can because you never know when a man will come sweep you off your feet." I went to summer school 3 weeks later and didn't stop until I was done. I'm thankful for that fast graduating because I would have never met Oswald if I had not finished early.

7. I love to color. It's therapeutic for me. It helps me release all kinds of stress and allows me a small amount of creativity.

6. I have aspirations of being the Next Food Network Star. Even though I have no formal training. Even though I have no original recipes. Even though the only cooking I do is for my family. Even though I know I would never make the first cut to even appear on the show...I still aspire. A girl can dream, right?

5. I have lived in Spain. I studied there for 5 weeks the summer of my junior/senior year. One of the best things I have ever done. Not only did I learn a lot of Spanish, but I learned a lot of life lessons and I learned a lot about another culture that I would one day like to re-visit.

4. I am a belly sleeper. This makes being 9 months (or even 5 months) pregnant extremely difficult because you can't sleep on your belly at that point.

3. I hate to sweep/mop/vacuum my floors. That's Oswald's job. He likes it. I don't. Makes us go together well!

2. I am a Diet Dr. Pepper (the caffeine free kind) junkie! I would drink that stuff instead of eat any day! It runs through my veins. And the only reason I don't drink the caffeine kind, it gives me a KILLER headache!

1. I am a Big Brother Fan-a-tic!! Enough said.

Paying the Bills

This is how I feel when I pay the bills: like I'm wrestling my inner self.

 
Paying the bills is bittersweet. It's nice to know that we have the money to pay all of the bills, plus some. But it's still incredibly hard to see that money come out every two weeks. I wish I could just stock pile it all. Maybe somewhere like under my mattress???

I sat down to the computer today and tried to pay the bills. I am in charge of the money because Oswald spends all day every day making the money, so he can't keep track of it.

I hate money. I hate how it stresses me out and how I worry about wasting any of it. I hate how I have felt when I have no money, and I never want to feel that way again.

I feel like because both Oswald and I have college educations, we should never be poor. But, let's be honest, that doesn't guarantee anything this day and age. Life is hard. I wish I could have my life, but none of the stressers!

Anyway, back to paying the bills...when we first got married I would balance the checkbook because I knew how to do it and Oswald didn't. He tracked his spending in his head, down to the penny. But when there are two people spending money, it makes it much more difficult.

So I tracked the money back then. Somehow I managed to always miscalculate on how much money was in our account. I was always thinking we had less than we actually did. It's really bad when I would calculate we had more than we did and bounced a check or something like that.

You see, I'm a writer, not a mathematician. I remember being in 8th grade and sitting in my math class doing those stupid times tables. We would be times as to how fast we did them and how many we got right. I was never very fast and I rarely got them all right.

What are some tricks you have to keep your finances straight?

--We have a running budget that I am constantly changing to fit our specific needs. It's hard to have a budget, but it also keeps is on track. We have goals we set as to how much money we want to save, and that helps us reach longer term goals.

What's your trick for handling Monday mornings?
--I try to have something fun to do with my kids. Last night I didn't get much sleep, but today we're headed to a friends house for some fun. Plus, we're looking for a new place to live...so lots of fun in our future!

The count down is on!

(my buddy starting his first day of Joy School September 2009)

The morning I became a mother for the first time, everything felt right with the world. I remember holding that little baby in my arms and never wanting to let him go. I remember the way he smelled and the way his eyes were wrinkled like an old man's. I remember changing his diaper for the first time. I remember thinking he would never be 5, that he would never go off to school, that he would always be my little baby.

Well, I was wrong. And now, the start of the school year is down to just over three weeks away, and I'm a little panicked. I'm a little nervous. I am scared to send this sweet little boy out in the world. I am nervous about the things he will learn. I am nervous that he will be bullied. I am just nervous.

What will I do without him home all day? He's been with me just about every day of his life all day. What will he do without me all day? Will he miss me? I know I'll miss him.

A friend of mine put her arms around me and gave me some words of advice. I can't remember the exact words, but I remember the feeling it gave me. A feeling that everything would be okay and that by buddy will be just fine in school. 

I know he'll make friends. I know he'll love learning. I know he'll THRIVE in school. I know he won't struggle. 

It's me I'm concerned about. I know some of you are thinking, "you still have two kids at home to occupy your time." and that statement is true, but he's my oldest. He's my helper. He's my buddy! 

So from all of you mom's who have "been there, done that", I need some advice. What can I do to help calm my nerves about sending my buddy to kindergarten. Help put this mom's heart at ease!

"yes, Ma'am"

It's a very polite, very Southern thing to say. I have now lived in the South for consecutively 6 years, this weekend is my Southern anniversary.

I love to hear people say "yes, ma'am" to older ladies. But at what point do you become a "ma'am"?

I know when I became a wife because I said "yes".

I know when I became a Mama (also very Southern) because I gave birth.

I know when I became an adult because I turned 18.

But when do you become a "Ma'am"?

Does it happen when you become a mother? Because then there would be some 14 year olds being called ma'am and that just seems crazy.

Does it happen when you get married? Then there would be some 18 year olds called ma'am.

The other day at the pool, some big boys (teenagers) were playing with the rings my kids dive after. I went over to them and said, "Hey can we have those back? They belong to my little kids."

The very polite, nice teenage boy looks at me and said, "yes, ma'am"

WHEN DID I BECOME A MA'AM?!?!?!

Because let's be honest, I would rather not be a Ma'am. Makes me feel like I'm old and wrinkly...guess maybe to that 17 year old, I am old...but I'm not wrinkly, am I?

Babysitting Fees

When I was a teenager, for babysitting I think I got paid $2 an hour for the first kid and an additional 50 cents for each kid after that. I did not babysit very often for the fact that I had younger brothers and sister. I watched them all the time and did not want to watch other peoples brothers/sisters. I just didn't really care for other peoples kids. Terrible, I know, but the truth.

Now that I am the mother of 3 and my husband has an awesome job that he loves and we can now afford more than the bare essentials, we go out on dates. It's so fun to have an adult conversation at dinner and not have to argue with someone about eating their veggies or leaving their sister alone. Dates are awesome.

But when you go on a date and don't have a built-in-babysitter, you have the dilemma of who will watch your kids, how long you will be gone, and the bigger debate/issue how much do you pay a babysitter?

By definition a babysitter is a 12-18 year old girl. (nothing against boys, but girls seems to enjoy babysitting more)

What makes one babysitter better than another? For me, it's the simple fact of how much my kids liked them.

Just recently I have had two different babysitters.

Babysitter #1 played the Wii with the kids, watched Aladdin with them and then put them to bed. My little man had a hard time going to sleep with her here, but she did eventually get him to fall asleep. She was cleaning out my dishwasher when I got home and the toys were all put away.

Babysitter #2 drew pictures with my kids, played games with them, and tucked them in bed. No problems with any of the kids. She was chillin on my couch when we got home. The dishwasher was already emptied out and the dirty ones loaded in it. And the living room clean.

I also have another option when it comes to babysitting. I do a trade with a friend. We switch watching each other's kids during the week. We usually do this once a month or so. The bummer to doing a babysitting switch is your kids aren't in bed when you get home and your dishwasher is not empty nor is your living room clean. Everything is the way it was when you took your kids over to her house. But when you trade, no babysitting fees. So it has it's perks, for sure!

Yesterday on the Facebook status of a friend of mine, was this..."I fear I will go broke paying for babysitters--and we haven't even gotten to do anything FUN when we HAVE paid someone. BOOO.....p.s. when did the going rate go from $2 to $10!"

I would have to agree, when did the going rate go from $2 to $10? These 12-18 year old girls are making more than minimum wage. That's amazing! Plus, for half, if not more, of the time, my kids are in bed asleep and they're just watching the tv and making sure the kids are safe.

But, I do know that these girls are watching my sweet kids and their safety is number one in my book, but really $10 is quite a bit of money. After being with your kids for 4-5 hours they've made $50? That's crazy!

So what do I pay a babysitter? The two times we have had a babysitter, I have paid them both $40 for about 5 hours of "work". So let's do the simple math (because that's the only kind of math I do) $40 divided by 5 hours equals $8/hour. Still above minimum wage. My kids had a good time and the sitters have told me how much fun they had and that they would do it again.

Oswald thinks that $10/hour is outrageous, too and one of the comments on that Facebook post was how the wife paid one rate and the husband paid another. I wonder how the man can get away with that. Interesting.

Another comment was how the couple pays $20 and that's it because that's what they're comfortable paying.

Another was that he daughter watches their kids and that's the best. You don't have to pay her anything. That's what I am excited for, the day when My Buddy can watch the kids and I don't have to pay a sitter.

What do you think? How much do you pay a babysitter to watch your kids? What were you paid as a kid to babysit and do you think the price now is outrageous? What will our kids be paid when it's their turn to babysit, $20/hour? I want that gig!

Crashed

A week ago, my computer crashed. It seemed like it happened out of the blue.

One minute I was using it to make some homemade nutri-grain bars and the next minute, crash. The next thing I new I could not access my desktop, my hard drive or anything. I nervously put something on Facebook and immediately had a comment, "You want some tech support?"

I jumped at that response and a friend and her hubby rushed to my aide. He came over and sat right down. While his wife, my friend, and I chatted the night away, he worked feverishly to get my computer up and running again.

He was successful to an extent. He recovered about half of my pictures, but the other half are still missing. They're out in cyberspace somewhere. The pictures from August of last year until just about now...from the time my little man was born until just about now. I'm pretty bummed about it, but since I had just recently developed several pictures, I know they are still on-line with Shutterfly.

This kind of stuff seems to happen to me all the time. I tend to drop my phone in the water or let it take a bath in the stroller. I have soaked my phone in a cup of Diet Dr. Pepper before, too. Luckily, I have been able to resurrect them all with a little rice. The computer, there is not a bag of rice big enough to resurrect it.

I am very thankful for my friend, for working on my computer. I wish I could find all of my pictures, but I am going to take this as a sign to back up all of my stuff. I had a nagging voice in the back of my head saying, "back your stuff up, Jennie." I always just took it for granted and said, "it's too much work to put all of my pictures on discs." Now I wish I would have listened to that nagging voice.

Consider this your warning: back your pictures up!

Up for discussion

  

My little man is 10 months old. He is still nursing twice a day. But let's be honest, he's kind of crazy when he nurses.

He likes to roll over onto his belly when he nurses.

Or even stand up when he nurses (when we're laying on the bed)

He does more socializing than eating when he nurses.

I know there are some of you who are totally into nursing babies for 12+ months, and that is all kinds of wonderful for you. But for me, I don't know how much longer I can take of this nonsense.

He doesn't like me to hold him close to my body like when he was a newborn. He doesn't want to just drink, he wants to drink, look around, talk to the big kids, drink some more...like I am his milk on-tap.

But here's my problem. I don't know how to stop. I don't know how I did it with my other kids. With my Little Man, I think I just quit cold turkey. I don't remember any pain on my side and he was pretty happy with the formula. My Princess had acid reflux really bad, so when I stopped nursing she stopped spitting up. Making it easy to stop because she was finally feeling better.

But my Little Man is not like the other two. He's such a momma's boy. He still clamors for my chest and he still wants to nurse. Plus, when I don't nurse him, I hurt. It's painful. Obviously I am still making milk because he's gulping it down, but do I have to sacrifice my own personal space/modesty to nurse this baby-almost-toddler? 

He's fully capable of drinking milk, he's had it before. He feeds himself finger foods. He holds his own bottle. So why do I feel I need to continue nursing this baby?  Is it because for some reason I feel like I won't be as good of a mom if I stop nursing? 

Am I waiting for some sort of miraculous weight-loss if I continue this torture (which on some days it truly is) or do I just continue to have this bonding time with my son. Do I let him nurse while he twirls his hair in his hand, just so I can gaze into his beautiful brown eyes?

I am torn inside. Part of me wants to quit and part of me is afraid it will hurt. Hurt physically and emotionally.